What Should Clergy Do When Facing Self-Doubt?

Today, we are prompted to address a topic we have previously not explored: pastoral burnout.

This discussion was initiated by a poignant narrative shared on priest.today, striking a chord with the emotional undertones of this week.

The story involves a young priest grappling with the notion of leaving his ministry, which he perceives not as a divine calling, but merely as an "allowance" from God. This has led him to doubt the worthiness of his ministry, feeling disappointed not with God or his faith, but deeply with himself.

He has been consistently advised by his superiors to "bear with it, humble yourself," yet the continual inner conflict is proving too much to bear.

QUESTION: ”A young priest contemplates leaving his ministry, feeling it was not a divine calling but merely 'an allowance' from God. He sees his ministry as unworthy and is not disillusioned with God or faith, but deeply disappointed in himself.

Responses from his superiors consistently advise: 'bear with it, humble yourself.' Yet, the ongoing internal struggle is overwhelming. What advice could be offered? Is stepping away from the ministry an option, or would it be seen as betrayal?"

In response to this troubling situation, we have compiled a series of commentaries from various clergymen, each reflecting on the broader issue of pastoral burnout.

These insights, filled with empathy, love, and support, are intended to offer guidance and solace not only to this young priest but to any clergy feeling discouraged or uncertain about their path.

We hope that these perspectives will serve as a source of comfort and reassurance to those navigating similar challenges in their vocations.

This is an Obvious Temptation

"This priest is undoubtedly experiencing a demonic temptation. To be ordained is to be called by God Himself —n o one serves at the altar without such divine invitation. To diminish this calling to an 'allowance' misinterprets the gravity and the grace of this vocation.

Occasionally, God may step back to allow room for personal error, particularly if one has strayed in some manner. This 'allowance' might seem as if God is saying, ‘Try to manage without Me, then,’ leading invariably to a falter in one’s path.

The priesthood is an exalted gift, granted even to sinners, as a testament to God's forgiveness. Every priest must remember the profound act of repentance at their ordination, the sacred promises made, and the solemnity of their commitment.

This situation indeed sounds like a trial, a test of fidelity to the holy calling. The appropriate prayer now would be, 'Strengthen me in my holy ministry, O Lord, for I am unworthy.'

I am always reminded of the bishop’s words during ordination: 'Receive this Divine Trust, and guard it until the Second Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, when He shall demand it back from you.' These words underscore a responsibility unique to the priesthood, a duty not imposed at baptism or monastic tonsure.

It is a reminder that priests bear a particular burden of accountability, tasked with safeguarding their divine trust. Thus, to this priest, I say: Serve diligently and pray fervently for God's support in your sacred labor."

Not All Are Called to the Priesthood

Elder Tavrion (Batozsky) often reminded the faithful before the Eucharistic Canon, "The Divine Liturgy is the greatest sacrament of salvation. Let us repent and pray with reverence for God." This sacred duty is entrusted to priests, regardless of their past lives, signifying their admission to serve God directly.

However, not everyone desiring to enter the priesthood is granted this path. Father Seraphim (Tyapochkin) shared a poignant story illustrating this point:

"In the Soviet era, there was a devout man, trained as an engineer, who deeply desired to become a priest. Despite his efforts and travels to various dioceses, no one would ordain him, possibly due to his secular background rather than theological training. Eventually, he was ordained first as a deacon and then quickly as a priest. Tragically, just before he was to lead his first Liturgy, he died in an accident while fixing an electrical fault in the church. Thus, he never served a single Liturgy, buried with the honors of a priest."

Take Time to Reflect, Brother

To the distressed priest in question, I urge you: do not rush to abandon your ministry! If you genuinely believe you can no longer serve at the altar, seek resolution through the proper channels — begin with your confessor. Surely, within your diocese, there exists at least one seasoned priest—while not necessarily a holy elder, someone who is devout, wise, and experienced. Engage in a heartfelt discussion with him. It's likely he will offer you comfort, support, and encouragement.

However, if after consulting you both agree that your reasons—perhaps stemming from grave sins—are compelling enough to consider leaving the priesthood, he will likely advise you to formally address this with the Church authorities. Allow your ruling bishop to make an informed decision about your status, and have this decision ratified by the Holy Patriarch if necessary. This protocol respects the ecclesiastical order.

Should the decision be to maintain your clerical status but with certain restrictions, embrace it. Obedience is crucial; do not compound your troubles by disregarding the directives of your Church leaders. Such humility and submission are essential as you navigate this challenging phase of your spiritual journey.

Your Situation Isn't the Final Verdict

If you haven't committed adultery or murder, what else could it be? It might involve severe alcohol or drug addiction. While this is indeed a grave situation, there's no need for despair. I've encountered numerous cases like this.

Allow me to share the story of a close friend, a priest, who struggled with alcoholism. He was a wonderful, kind-hearted man, a devoted husband and father — his family attests to this. However, he battled with ugly bouts of drunkenness at the most unexpected times. As a result, he was removed from ministry and eventually passed away while under ecclesiastical censure. Despite his struggles, his funeral was attended by a crowd, and seeing him laid to rest in his priestly vestments brought solace to many hearts. Though afflicted, he was not a betrayer.

Similarly, there's another priest in my acquaintance who also battled alcoholism and faced ecclesiastical restrictions. However, after a few years, he found healing and returned to serve. Today, he dedicates himself to helping others overcome addiction. Let this serve as a reminder: even in the depths of despair, there is hope. Let us persevere and be patient with ourselves.

"Hold on to the Altar, and the Rest Will Work Out"

Sometimes, the struggle isn't visible externally, but internally, you might feel tormented by your conscience. You might think, "I am weak and sinful, everything is amiss, and I am only damaging my soul with unworthy service." But remember, you are not causing harm. God views your struggles with love and compassion. Don't flee from your spiritual battlefield; God will assist you.

I recall a poignant interaction between the late Father George Breyev, a cherished Moscow clergyman, and a young priest who was encountering significant difficulties in his ministry. Father George advised him, "Hold on to the altar, and the rest will work out."

This advice is profound — finding solace in prayer, worship, and the celebration of the Eucharist and Communion of the Holy Mysteries is crucial when everything else seems unstable. A priest grounded in these practices is truly fulfilling his role, and with God's help, all hardships can be surmounted.

But what if you find yourself disengaged during the Divine Liturgy, feeling your prayers are cold or your mind wanders even during the Eucharistic Canon? Yes, this is a challenge, but it's not a reason to despair. Continue to pray in whatever way you can; even if it feels absentminded or lackluster; do not turn away from God's throne. Humble yourself before it, saying, "Lord, I am not conducting your service worthily; only You can rectify my faults."

Striving to Surpass the Fig Tree

The Gospel of Mark (11:12-14) recounts a moment when Christ, hungry, approached a fig tree hoping to find fruit. Despite it not being the season for figs, when He found none, He cursed the tree, causing it to wither. This passage is sometimes misunderstood as an act of impulsive frustration by Christ. However, it was not merely a hungry man who approached the tree but the God-Man, who sought to teach a profound lesson through this act.

God expected the fig tree to bear fruit out of season, symbolizing the expectation for spiritual fruitfulness beyond natural capacities. The fig tree’s failure to bear fruit led to its demise, serving as a powerful metaphor for spiritual readiness and responsiveness.

Similarly, we are often like the fig tree, not naturally ready to produce spiritual fruit and seemingly unworthy of our callings, such as the priesthood. Yet, if the ministry has been entrusted to us, it is our duty to strive to align with God’s will, demonstrating a readiness to bear fruit in His timing. If we show willingness, the Lord will provide the strength we need to produce fruit that is pleasing to Him.

So take heart, be like the fig tree that bears fruit when least expected — flourish and thrive under God’s guidance, showing that you can rise above your natural limitations.

Navigating Doubts in Ministry: Youth vs. Experience

Are you troubled by your youth and its impact on your pastoral effectiveness? If so, remember the proverb: "if you pledge, do not hedge." Indeed, the age of a priest does carry significance. Typically, an older priest brings a wealth of worldly experience, while a younger one may offer more energy. However, individuals vary greatly, and one should not get too caught up in the stereotypes of young or old age.

Think of a priest as an officer in the army: If you're assigned as a major and given a battalion, your duty is to lead effectively, regardless of age. Central to your role are the service at God's altar and prayer; these are paramount. Interacting with parishioners should stem from genuine pastoral commitment, not merely an attempt to emulate the holy elders superficially. As the rector, it is your responsibility to guide your parish, and how you engage in other church activities should align with your unique talents and the needs of your community.

If you are apprehensive about preaching, do not let embarrassment hinder you. Preaching is a fundamental task entrusted to every priest during divine services, especially at the Divine Liturgy. While not everyone possesses the same level of oratorical flair, each priest can communicate effectively in their own way. Just as mothers sing lullabies to their children—some crafting their tunes, others using simple melodies but all with love—so too can priests preach.

Using a book for preaching might sometimes be seen as improper, but this is only the case if it stems from indifference or laziness. If a sermon from a book resonates with you and you believe it holds spiritual value for your parishioners, sharing it sincerely is not only acceptable but commendable.

Temptations are Part of the Journey

Dear brother in despair, heed the words of the Venerable Abba Dorotheos: "Every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation, and what is done for the sake of God cannot be firm unless it is tested by temptation". Recognize that the ministry of a parish, a good and holy work, will invariably bring challenges—not just to novices but to seasoned priests as well.

Accept these trials as a natural part of your spiritual journey, much like a pregnant woman anticipates the pains of childbirth yet also looks forward to it as a joyous inevitability. The Gospel reminds us that it is through many tribulations we must enter the Kingdom of Heaven. When we finally arrive, bearing the fruits of our sacred service, the sorrows will fade, replaced by joy (see John 16:21). Thus, there is no reason to fear temptations excessively or to expect a life devoid of them.

Do not lose heart, dear friend! Take courage!

As we affirm these encouragements, we extend our prayerful wishes for a season filled with the abundant Paschal joy that dispels all shadows and doubts. May the All-Merciful Lord, who is truly risen, bless and uplift us all.