St Paisios of the Holy Mountain about the Connection between Husband and Wife

– Sister, have you finished writing the wedding card to Dimitry, who is getting married?

– I have, Geronda.

– Let me see it, I’d like to add a personal note to it: “May Christ and the Most Holy Theotokos be with you! Dimitry, I give you my blessing to quarrel with the whole world, except Mary! The same blessing goes to Mary: to quarrel with anyone but you!” We’ll see if they understand what I mean.

One person asked me once, “Geronda, is it that unites a husband and wife the most?” “Appreciation,” I answered him. One person loves another for what he gives him. A wife gives her husband trust, devotion and obedience. A husband gives his wife confidence that she is under his cover, protection.

The wife is the mistress of the house, but she is also the main servant in it. The husband is the ruler of the house, but also the bearer of its burdens. To receive mutual comfort from each other and to be able to fulfill their spiritual duties, spouses must have pure love for each other.

To live in harmony, they must put at the foundation of their life the precious love, consisting in spiritual nobility and sacrifice, not the false, worldly, carnal love. Where there is love and sacrifice between two people, one always understands the other, putting himself in his place and feeling pain for him.

By accepting our neighbor into our suffering heart, we accept Christ, Who fills it again with His ineffable joy.

If spouses love each other, they will remain close even if circumstances separate them, because the love of Christ overcomes any distance. However, if, God forbid, there is no love between spouses, then they will be far from each other even being in the same room. Therefore, each of the spouses should sacrifice himself for the other, trying all his life to preserve love for him.

Translated by The Catalogue of Good Deeds

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