Why Did a Saint Doubt His Own Repentance on His Deathbed? The Profound Humility of St Sisoes the Great

The Venerable Sisoes the Great, one of the most famous desert dwellers and ascetics of fifth-century Christian monasticism, uttered a phrase before his death that greatly surprised his disciples. What did the holy elder say, and how should his words be understood?

The actual story is described in the saint’s hagiography as follows: When the Venerable Sisoes was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his disciples and followers, his countenance suddenly brightened and shone with a mysterious, unearthly light. When his disciples asked him what was happening, he replied that he had just been visited by the Venerable Anthony the Great. The elder revealed that he saw prophets, apostles, and finally angels who had come to take his soul. The following dialogue took place between Sisoes and the disciples:

 “The angels have come to take me, but I pray that they may leave me for a short time so that I may repent.”

 “You have no need for repentance, Father,” the disciples said in surprise.

 “Truly I do not know whether I have made even the beginning of my repentance,” was the elder’s reply.

Then Sisoes saw the Lord Himself and placed his soul into His hands.

To understand the astonishment of the disciples, let us briefly turn to the life of the Venerable Sisoes. He was a disciple of the founder of monasticism, the Venerable Anthony the Great, and after his teacher’s death, he lived in Anthony’s cave. He reached such spiritual heights that, by the grace of God, he cast out demons and raised the dead. As St Demetrius of Rostov writes in the life of the Venerable, “all evil spirits fled from him, not daring to approach the brave and invincible warrior of Christ.” And now such a man, who was already considered a saint during his lifetime, says before his death that he has not even begun to repent yet. What is this? Hypocrisy? Feigned humility? A pedagogical device? Given the grandeur and importance of the moment, which was accompanied by amazing and actually terrifying visions (imagine being on the brink of eternity, actually seeing saints, angels, and the Saviour), it’s unlikely. In such moments, it’s doubtful that anyone would choose to be insincere or disingenuous.

In order to understand the inner state of Sisoes the Great and the meaning of the words he uttered, it is necessary to find out what repentance means in the Orthodox Church tradition. Literally translated from the Greek (μετάνοια), repentance means “change of mind.” It implies a qualitative inner spiritual change. Repentance includes awareness of one’s sinfulness, contrition, and striving for correction and change. Recognising one’s sinfulness and understanding that sin alienates one from God is an important first step that requires, first of all, honesty with oneself. This is followed by repentance, that is, sincere regret for the sins committed. It finds its expression in the sacrament of Confession, in which a person receives forgiveness and the grace of God to confront and overcome sins. Finally, the next stage, which lasts until death, is a continuous effort to correct one’s life and eliminate the causes of sinful behaviour. Repentance in the Orthodox Church is a profound spiritual process aimed at transforming life and restoring the lost connection with God, gaining His grace, and achieving inner peace and perfect joy.

There is one tendency here. The deeper a person repents, the more time he devotes to spiritual life, and the more sinful he considers himself to be. In the process of repentance, a person begins to see his sins in the light of God’s righteousness. The closer he brings himself to God, the more clearly he realises his own sinfulness. St John Chrysostom wrote in this regard that true repentance brings a light that allows one to see the depth of one’s sins. Venerable Peter Damascene echoed him, noting that “the first sign of the dawning soundness of the soul is the vision of one’s sins, countless as the sand of the sea.” A person begins to discern not only overt sins but also the potential for sin in thoughts, intentions, and states of the heart. He understands that sin is not limited to outward actions but can develop when one chooses to entertain and embrace sinful thoughts and inclinations. He sees that sin is not limited to outward actions but penetrates into the abysses of the soul. Many holy fathers have stressed that humility and repentance go hand in hand, leading to the realisation of the impossibility of salvation without Divine grace and mercy. Repentance, therefore, contributes to the development of humility, that is, a sober awareness of one’s state before God.

It is in this perspective that we should understand the words of Sisoes the Great, who spoke them from the depths of his humility. Despite his apparent righteousness in the eyes of others, he, being on the threshold of eternity, keenly aware of the presence of the heavenly upper world, conversing with angels and actually seeing the Lord approaching him, sincerely felt himself, in the light of God’s infinite holiness, to be a sinner who still needed time for correction. The words of Sisoes the Great serve as an important reminder that repentance is a lifelong journey of spiritual change.

Translated by The Catalgue of Good Deeds
Source: https://foma.ru/kak-ponimat-slova-sisoja-velikogo-skazannye-pered-smertju.html