{"id":1798,"date":"2017-02-13T12:46:00","date_gmt":"2017-02-13T12:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.smallpage.online\/2017\/02\/13\/matushka-wonderful-title-and-no-rea\/"},"modified":"2019-03-05T10:29:15","modified_gmt":"2019-03-05T10:29:15","slug":"matushka-wonderful-title-and-no-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalog.obitel-minsk.com\/blog\/2017\/02\/matushka-wonderful-title-and-no-real","title":{"rendered":"Matushka: A Wonderful Title, and No Real Job Description?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

What does it mean to have a wonderful title, and no real job description? The position of the wife of a priest is exactly this. The various languages or every Orthodox country have titles of honor for the priest\u2019s wife. Some might literally be translated as \u2018priestess\u2019, while some mean \u2018wife of the priest\u2019, and in at least one language \u2014 Russian \u2014 the priest\u2019s wife is \u2018mother\u2019 or \u2018little mother\u2019.<\/p>\n

So it\u2019s clear that our Orthodox cultures have always seen the position of priest\u2019s wife as something special. Yet there really is no \u201cjob description\u201d for what she should do or be. This might be seen as a reason for confusion and frustration, but I think it\u2019s more true to the nature of Orthodoxy to see it as the Church\u2019s loving freedom, given to her children. It leaves a woman free to regard her position as a ministry which can be carried out in whatever way is most suitable and comfortable for her own character and personality. If there is no job description, there is no blueprint, either, to which any woman should feel obliged to conform.<\/p>\n

\"\"
St. John of Kronstadt<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The late Jacqueline Onassis was asked early in her husband John F. Kennedy\u2019s presidency what she though her most important role would be as First Lady. She answered that it would be to take care of the President so that he could do his job effectively. And despite the differences in \u201cstyle\u201d of various priest\u2019s wives, they, too, have this as their first task. Like any wife, the priest\u2019s wife must help her husband carry out the demanding tasks that are his, not by taking part directly in those tasks, but by seeing to his physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being. If the family includes children, there are other things to be seen to. The priest\u2019s family needs to be a healthy unit whose members\u2019 needs are attended to. The members must also be allowed to grow through their mistakes and experimental \u201ctrying on\u201d of various aspects of life. Most of all, there should be continual spiritual effort in the family, involving all its members.<\/p>\n

We can say more about each of these points. First<\/strong>, seeing to a husband\u2019s well-being: For a priest\u2019s wife, this includes what it does for most wives \u2014 overseeing the diet, activities, and living conditions of her family. But it can also mean helping her husband feel confident in his ministry, encouraging him during rough times, and discerning what to tell him about the things she herself observes in the parish. Because so often there is little monetary or status-related reward for the priest\u2019s work \u2014 as there is more likely to be in other professions \u2014 her support is particularly important.<\/p>\n

The second<\/strong> point, the need for the priest\u2019s family to be a place in which members\u2019 needs are attended to, applies especially to the children. The demands of the priestly ministry can be \u2014 or can be allowed to become \u2014 so overwhelming that there is little time left for a busy priest to see to the needs of his own offspring. His wife is often the one who makes sure he carves out time to attend a son\u2019s concert or a daughter\u2019s game, and who encourages family conversation at the dinner table, as well as private talk between father and child at other times. There are many clergy wives who, while themselves holding down full-time jobs to meet material family needs, manage also to satisfy the family\u2019s emotional needs in this way. Their heroic efforts will surely find a great reward in heaven!<\/p>\n

The third<\/strong> point, that a priest\u2019s family should be a unit whose members can make mistakes and experimentally \u201ctry on\u201d aspects of life applies to children as well as to their parents. Green hair on the priest\u2019s son or a little gold ring in his daughter\u2019s naval, for example, should not scandalize the parish any more that they would if they appeared on other parish teens\u2019 bodies. Priest\u2019s wives need to work with their husbands to protect their children\u2019s right to try things out, and not to let those outside the family put the children into a box of expected, impeccable, exemplary behavior \u2014 different from what is expected of any young, growing Christian. A clergy wife must also resist the temptation to impose a certain standard of behavior on her children for no other reason than \u201cnot to embarrass the family.\u201d Good behavior should be encouraged because it will help the child have a satisfying and God-pleasing life, not because he or she is a PK (\u2018priest\u2019s kid\u2019), and therefore has a special responsibility to make the family look good. If the priest\u2019s wife can calmly accept her and other children\u2019s quirks and mistakes, she will by example help other parents to have the same flexibility and calmness. In fact, this will help them to be more accepting of people in general \u2014 a healthy trait for Christians to develop.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Fr. Pavel from Minsk (Belarus) with his family<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Finally<\/strong>, the fourth point: The clergy family must be a place in which there is constant spiritual effort. A clergy wife with small children knows the struggle of getting little ones dressed and ready for Liturgy on a wintry Sunday morning with no help from the husband, who left for the church some time ago to begin the preparation in the altar. She knows, too, that he won\u2019t be standing with her during the services to hold a tired toddler or gently quite a baby\u2019s outburst during the sermon \u2014 because he\u2019ll be busy giving it!<\/p>\n

Perhaps this is the place where the priest\u2019s wife has the most important aspect of her ministry. If she can make the effort \u2014 not always successfully \u2014 to get to the services even under difficult circumstances, and if she can show\u00a0that she wants to be there, she will do a great deal for the people around her. We can be tempted to see worship as a beautiful but inessential adjunct to the \u201creal\u201d parts of our lives: work, home, school. But the priest\u2019s wife, a layperson like the others in the parish, has the same responsibilities and temptations that they do. When she makes the Church and its worship central to her life, other may see that they also can do so. They may even decide that they\u00a0should\u00a0do so!<\/p>\n

If the priest\u2019s wife can encourage even one person in this way, she will have done the work of the Lord and will truly be the partner to her husband that her Orthodox title of honor calls her to be.<\/p>\n

Lots of Titles for the Priest\u2019s Wife<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Every \u201ctraditionally Orthodox\u201d country has a special title in its language for the priest\u2019s wife. In America, we tend to bring these terms into our parishes based on the ethnic background of the majority of the parishioners, as our own English language really has no \u201ccomfortable\u201d equivalent. Here are a few:<\/p>\n

Presbytera<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>(pres vee TEAR a) \u2014 Greek, for \u2018priestess\u2019<\/p>\n

Papadiya\u00a0<\/em>or\u00a0<\/strong>Popadia<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>(PO pa DEE ya) \u2014 Serbian\/Balkan<\/p>\n

Matushka<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>(MA toosh ka) \u2014 Russian, for \u2018mother\u2019<\/p>\n

Panimatushka<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>(PA nyee MA toosh ka) or\u00a0Panimatka\u00a0\u2014 Ukrainian, for \u2018little mother\u2019<\/p>\n

Pani\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>(PA nyee) \u2014 a shortened form, common in the Carpatho-Russian tradition<\/p>\n

Khouria<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>(ho REE ya) \u2014 Syrian<\/p>\n

The wife of a deacon has a title, too! In Greek, it\u2019s\u00a0Diakonissa\u00a0<\/em>(for \u2018deaconess\u2019). In the Slavic tradition, it\u2019s the same as the title used for the priest\u2019s wife! How do you use the title, once you learn to pronounce it? Just use the title with your priest\u2019s wife\u2019s given (Christian) name, e.g., Presbytera Helena or Matushka Mary. This honorific is appropriate when speaking to her directly, or when referring to her in a conversation with others: \u201cKhouria Julia is making copies of the recipe for the workshop next week.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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