By: Fr. John Koen

Fr. John Koen — Wed, 20 Nov 2019 16:14:14 +0000

Thank you for sharing this. I have had a growing cincetn, for some time, about the impact of social media on our lives, perceptions and communications. Your point about some of the positive effects, at least for some people, is certainly valid. However, it has become all too obvious that there are also noteworthy negative effects. Unrestrained gossip, inappropriate sharing, disrespect, anger, rage, harsh judgements and condemnations are most certainly in this second category.
It seems that far too many people have lost the ability to have reasoned, polite discourse, and to be able to disagree respectfully. Many years ago, while doing church ministry in Germany, I attended a public meeting, where the scheduled topic was highly controversial and volatile. Despite this, everyone who wished to speak was able to do so, without being in any way interrupted, shouted down, or in any way disrespected. No one there was “backwards about coming forwards,” as the Brits would say. But overarching the proceedings was an atmosphere of restraint, respect and moderation. Nothing was completely resolved, but issues were thoroughly discussed and considered. Afterwards, everyone said hello to one another, shook hands, and then went home. When I was growing up, my parents and their friends did not agree on everything, including (and perhaps especially) politics and religion. But they too could have intelligent and respectful discussions, then agree to disagree, and still remain good friends. We as a society seem to have lost such skills as just described, and I greatly lament this.

I was on Facebook for about 10 years. I was able to re-connect with old friends who had been part of my spiritual Journey, but with whom I had lost contact. Renewing those friendships, as well as making some new ones, helped me in getting through some very difficult life transitions. I may, with God’s help, have been able to help a few people with their difficulties. I also enjoyed pictures and videos of cats, other animals, nature, etc. But I began to realise, after awhile, that there were people, groups, topics to be very much avoided. I seek balance, the middle path, if possible, and I do not like or trust extremes of Left or Right in anything, most especially religion and politics. I became aware of a growing sense in myself of unease, dissatisfaction, lack of self worth, and even depression. Then, over the last couple of months, I started experiencing dizziness and GI distress that had no medical basis. One morning last week, my better half mentioned something in passing about growing concerns (including by therapists, psychologists and others) about negative effects of social media.
Considering this through that day, I felt a growing sense of urgency to permanently leave Facebook. I had been reluctantly considering this for at least a year. Perhaps God was trying to tell me something. So I prayed, let my real friends on Facebook know (and how to otherwise reach me, if they wanted to), and fully left Facebook. The dizziness and GI distress stopped the next morning, and have not returned.
Coincidence? I don’t think so. (I only believe in coincidence with regards to plumbing, long story short 😀). I’ve had some mental and emotional reactions to work through (after all, there is such a thing as social media addiction, again, professionally documented), but I find it very worthwhile, nonetheless, to have taken this step. I am not judging anyone else in this. There are many variables to do with social media, and how they affect people. All I can say is that this is a good decision for me personally. I derived benefits from Facebook, then I came to a point of needing to move on.
All the best to everyone out there. God bless!

Comments on: From Hearsay to Social Media – a Tale of Rumor Spreading

By: Fr. John Koen